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Taking your wife
on a cruise means circling the Dairy Queen.
You think the last
words to The Star Spangled Banner are "Gentlemen, start your engines."
You think God looks
a lot like Hank Williams, Jr., and heaven looks a lot like Daytona Beach, Florida.
You believe dual
air bags refer to your wife and mother-in-law.
Your father executes
the "pull my finger" trick during Christmas dinner.
You were acquitted
for murdering your first wife after she threw out your Elvis 45's.
You've got more
than one brother named 'Darryl'.
The people on Jerry
Springer's show remind you of your neighbors.
You've been married
three times and still have the same in-laws.
You lit a match
in the bathroom and your house exploded right off it's wheels.
You carried a fishing
pole into Sea World.
Your sister is
the third generation of women in your family to conceive a baby as a result of
an alien abduction.
You think subdivision
is part of a math problem.
You think there's
nothin wrong with incest as long as you keep it in the family.
You can get dog
hair from out of your belly button.
You think the three
primary colors are John Deere Green, Ford Blue, and Primer Gray.
Ya can't get married
to yer sweetheart cause there is a law against it.
The beer can collection
in the town museum is the big tourist attraction.
You can change
the oil in your truck without ducking your head.
You think loading
the dishwasher means getting your wife drunk.
You take a load
to the dump and bring back more than you took.
Your whole family
is Democrats except little Mary. She got to readin'.
You believe that
beef jerky and Moon Pies are two of the major food groups.
You think genitalia
is an Italian airline.
You let your twelve-year-old
daughter smoke at the dinner table in front of her kids.
You keep empty
beer cans in your fridge for your friends that don't drink.
You think a woman
who is "out of your league" bowls on a different night.
The Halloween pumpkin
on your front porch has more teeth than your wife.
You think taking
a bubble bath starts with eating beans for dinner.
You buy your jewelry
at the hardware store.
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