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1. The last fight
we had was my fault. My wife asked, "What's on the TV?" I said, "Dust!"
2. In the beginning
God created earth and rested. Then God created man and rested. Then God created
woman. Since then neither God nor man has rested.
3. My wife and
I are inseparable. In fact, last week it took four state troopers and a dog.
4. Do you know
the punishment for bigamy? Two mother-in-laws.
5. Young son:
Is it true, Dad, I heard that in some parts of Africa a man doesn't know his wife
until he marries her? Dad: That happens in every country, son.
6. The most effective
way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.
7. How do most
men define marriage? An expensive way to get laundry done for free.
8. If you want
your wife to listen and pay undivided attention to every word you say, talk in
your sleep.
9. Then there was
a man who said, "I never knew what real happiness was until I got married; then
it was too late."
10. Women will
never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and
a beer gut, and still think they look beautiful.
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