|
|
| # |
Funny
Quotes |
| 1. |
"When
I told my friends I was going to be a comedian, they laughed at me."
Carrot Top. |
| 2. |
"You
can say any foolish thing to a dog, and the dog will give you this look that says,
"My God, you're right! I never would've thought of that!"
Dave Barry. |
| 3. |
"The
depressing thing about tennis is that no matter how good I get, I'll never be
as good as a wall."
Mitch Hedberg. |
| 4. |
"My
mom was a ventriloquist and she always was throwing her voice. For ten years I
thought the dog was telling me to kill my father."
Wendy Leibman. |
| 5. |
"If
Dracula can't see his reflection in a mirror, how come his hair is always so neatly
combed?"
Steven Wright. |
| 6. |
"Bo
Derek turned down the role of Helen Keller because she couldn't remember the lines."
Joan Rivers. |
| 7. |
"Happiness
is sitting down to watch slides of your neighbor's vacation and finding out he
spent two weeks at a nudist colony."
Johnny Carson. |
| 8. |
"He
who laughs last has not yet heard the bad news."
Bertolt Brecht. |
| 9. |
"At
school we had a name for guys who were 'trying to get in touch with themselves'."
PJ O'Rourke. |
| 10. |
"Denial
ain’t just a river in Egypt."
Mark Twain. |
|
|
